While Winding Down In The Mountains

It felt like I was soaring, on the motorcycle driving down the street with mountain walls to my left and a gushing river in a valley to my right. At certain moments like these I would wonder, "What the heck am I doing here?" I lifted my right arm and let my hand kite through the wind. I was reminded of the woman in the book of odd neurology cases who could no longer feel the existence of her own body. She could only catch a glimpse of feeling like she had arms, hands and a face when she hung out an open window in a driving car. I closed my eyes and felt the outline of my limbs as the wind washed over.

If I had said no as often as I was inclined to, I would not be here. I could have said no to going out to catch cicadas; no to staying longer in Pa Tan; no to an extended internship; no to Vietnam. But every time I said yes I let go a little bit of my grip on my life, and was surprised each time by the amazing memories that followed. "Him-bbeh," Mom would say. Loosen up, let go a little. Everything I do from clinging onto the motorbike as it lurches up the mountain, to taking photographs of shy children, and even cautiously building relationships, I'm learning to do it with a looser grip, letting it flow and sway.